Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
