Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
