You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
