Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
