I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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