so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
