I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
