with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
