I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
