Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
