I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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