i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
