there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
