What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
