I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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