i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
