ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
