before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
