haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
