new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
