Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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