Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
