just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
