before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
