Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
