I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
