he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We're too hungover to prance.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
