yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
