Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
