Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish you could order shots online.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
