The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
