Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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