'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
whose ass print is on the piano?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
