Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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