A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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