somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
