these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
