Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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