Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
