Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
