She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
