So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
