No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
