Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
