I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The feeling are messing with the penis
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
