did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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