If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
