i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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