please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
