Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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