Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
