im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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